Life is not so grey...

After making a few decisions, hopefully in the right direction, I feel a little less like a fish out of water.  Today, its a bit strange I've forgotten how diverse New York is. I've laughed quite a bit, I also realize that I have more of a sense of humour then your average New Yorker! But luckily this being New York no one looked at me too strangely. Looking around you see people dressed so that all you see are a long pair of legs, a costume from the 1930's middle america, a man walking and cursing down the street only to stop...and kiss his girlfriend. Bodies that look like models, sitting in cafes full to overflowing...Well basically it has been an interesting day observing tout le monde..so where do I fit in...at the moment just as an observer. I miss France, Europe in General, but no matter how much I would like to think differently...I don't belong there..sigh! laughing  I must have the strangest accent now, I've been asked three times where it's from! Always the same shocked expression when I say Turkish..I've become mysterious....me! Must admit it was hell overseas, being Turkish and American, neither one of which is too well accepted. Had to improvise and say bit of both, which was getting annoying since I'm really neither. 

Tout commence par des reves..true still stand by it..look at Shane and Aurore, who would have thought, good luck to both of you!

..running out of battery must leave now from this used bookstore dedicated to the homeless..

A path once chosen...

It feels like a lifetime since I last wrote..and well it could be. No longer in Istanbul, how strange. I've traversed the world it seems to end up where I least expected to be.
A bit melancholy, perhaps it's Bach, the cello suites were never lighthearted. Yet it suits my mood, introspective, contemplative. Therefore reader be forewarned!
Would that I could stifle these urges that goad and push for more. MORE what is more! There is no definition really, it is wanting what you do not have yet when you have..are we satisfied..for the moment, a day, a week and then it's back! Do all human beings have this craving, this impulsiveness to uproot their whole world on a whim, or so it seems sometimes. For what? sigh...A longing..
I've traveled the world, or a part of it, and for that I am grateful. I have been allowed to see, smell and live with others while they went about their lives. I've made friends which I can love and miss their companionship dearly.. I've matured perhaps too much..for this place seems to have stood still.
One day I will write about all the joy there was in traversing my little world, but not today, not with Bach's cellos playing in the background...
Alone once more, who would have thought it would be this difficult...surrounded by people one longs for piece yet once granted...can it be taken back.
once more a floating weed,
off the coast of the atlantic,
too far
both sides of the shore...so far...
destined to float on the sea,
or get dragged under by the current...