Golden waves...

It creeps up on you...as you slowly trudge your way through melting snow. Knee deep struggling to find your next footing. As you slowly regain your breath into the silence..ping..ping..ping. Throughout the forest, it softly vibrates, liquid water caught in pails, a drop at a time. Boiled at the right temperature, it pours out like a golden wave, caught in the sunlight -mesmorized by the spiraling twists and turns, a momentary work of art, only to be captured in memory. Each batch a different nuance of gold. A tasteful bounty which needs to be savoured as each tree takes about 70 years to come to its maturity. They cannot talk, or express wants and needs, therefore it is easy to forget how unique each one is...next time you walk pass one take a closer look, you might have missed something.

spring is in the air

and I feel like dancing...happy, relaxed, smiling..instead I will be going to harvest maple syrup for a week...
No.. I am not kidding. It's an artisanal farm, using "good old pails" and "elbow grease"to quote Mario the owner. Yes I am looking forward to it, no I have not lost my senses..on the contrary I have actually found them, they were hidden away a little too far to find, back behind logic, intelligence and ingrained notions of sensibility. I must confess it feels good to just "be"...ah yes Aylin philosophizing again...I can't explain it, "it" doesn't conform to any logical explanations except perhaps one, feeling whole, as if all the pieces of the puzzle final fall into place, (cliche phrase but adequate). I can hear the yes buts from most of you...Yes of course logic still worms it's way in, and tries to reinstate itself and say how long can this last...who knows we'll have to wait and see! smiling.. as long as I can hold on to it!

Running naked through the forest
I see only the trees in front of me,
alone with my thoughts
there is no path but for the one I make,
running naked through the forest
panting, I am out of breath
My body yearns for rest,
yet the wind urges me forth,
relentless as my shadow,
I keep running.

Warning..music nostalgia time..

"How much do I love you, I'll tell you know lies." (How deep is the ocean? How high is the sky?) Billie Holiday. I'd forgotten how beautiful the lyrics were, and well her voice, gritty and amazing. Youtube definetly has it's benefits. (yes I am just discovering youtube!)Showing old b/w video clips, though it takes getting used to listening in mono again! Sometimes technology is good. It's a perfect song for lovers..so to the young lovers getting married in April, this song is definitely worth listening to again, with some candles!! I'd send a cd but I'm sure Shane has it already in his vast collection!!
Sad how all the good musicians somehow die young and addicted to either painkillers, drugs or alcohol. I can't begin to imagine how hard it must have been. Yet, to truly experience some painful and deep emotions, watch Billie singing Strange fruit. I've never really listened to the lyrics before, perhaps I was just too young, but watching her expression well, it was very eery and her voice booms at the most graphic sections..you can literally see the..never mind.. you'll have to listen to it or not.
Does experiencing suffering, happiness , and deep passions make you a better singer or writer? At this stage in my life, I'd say it adds dimensions, and takes you from being perhaps technically good writer/singer to one that has soul. As Henry Miller told Anais Nin "you have to get out and live life. experience it, not just imagine it." God the songs are all so beautiful, "I'm a fool to want you" a fool to hold you, to seek a kiss the devil has known...maybe I'm biased perhaps modern day music is just as good but at the moment, I'll make a new list of "old" musicians..

musings...

When one day I leave this earth,
I hope to return-
as a tree.
A solid oak with branches spread wide in an oval shape,
or a birch...with a bark of silver, so smooth and yet, so resilient.
Let my seed drop somewhere where the
earth is cold-
with snow for my blanket, and pine trees as my friends.
I shall have stars for distraction,
and a better mural I could not ask-
one that constantly shifts and changes,throughout the night.
Let those who pass enjoy my shade.. take refuge from the wind,
rest against my bark and
savor the sweet scent of silence.

Where will it end?

Sorry for the bombardment of writing on one day, it's just been one of those days, I need to write. In one day I've read about the trial of the father raping and enslaving his daughter in Austria for 18 years,(yes I read about it before) and pleading non-guilty to enslavement. Perhaps I misunderstood the the definition of enslavement, but locking someone either physically or mentally in a room with no means of escape is enslavement. Sorry but I do not believe he was mentally not stable. But a man who viewed his daughter as property and enjoyed the power he had over her. Next, is the 17 year old boy in Germany who shoots his friends. Still, those video games and spending all your time in front of the computer doesn't have a bad influence?? I know it's cliche and I'm sure everybody has heard this thousands of times yet how do these kids learn to communicate what they feel? They are never given the opportunity to learn how to express them, or deal with rejection, or hormones. Everything is instant gratification, expressions of love, hate, sex is all violent. There is no softness! before even in pornography there was playboy and "soft porn" where you had the illusion of softness and really "making love" not just thrusting and taking what you wanted. What is love nowadays? I would love to ask some teenagers what their opinion of love is. A few years ago, on the plane I read an article about a woman in Pakistan who was gang raped by men in retaliation for her 12 year old brother raping a girl. This is normal and there were hundreds of such cases but no one mentioned anything. However she doesn't kill herself but fights against these acts, she speaks out, amongst death threats and opens a school for girls. This in itself is a tragedy, however what I find even more pathetic/ironic/sad, is that her brother was actually sodomized, and he was innocent. These were two innocent youngsters, who were forced to endure rape and then be blamed for them. What kind of humanity is this? Then there are the more tragi/comic situations as in more remote parts of Russia, where the unemployment level has reached such heights that people have resorted to selling their blood.
IHT article, "Workers," he says as he fills in forms at the employment center, "are losing a lot." The city's blood bank, meanwhile, is doing brisk business. Donations are up by 15 percent as the unemployed queue to earn as much as $28 (€22) for their blood. "People have no means of support, so naturally they're coming to us," says chief doctor Anatoly Voronin.
Iht again,In New Zealand, it seems that prostitution is both legal and thriving. Women are resorting to the oldest profession because as one women pointed out they have "sex, money and men". It's hard to argue really especially when they make around 200 dollars an hour in a very clean establishment. I would never argue against it to begin with, if it's their choice and they are not being forced, it's perfectly fine, but still, I find the world difficult to understand at times. Sometimes, I feel like sticking my head in the sand like an ostrich. Despite all this I am not pessimistic,(well not always) just baffled, and some situations hit closer to home then others.

Technical error

The reading order is published wrong and I can't fix it, so the Darwin article is first, then my comment and lastly my walking trip. But feel free to read it anyway you wish.
I've worked off my anger so thanks !

An unexpected walk..

I was invited to participate in a friends Tesl class, she introduced me as a friend from Turkey, which made it more interesting, and we spent a very pleasant two hours discussing politics and social conditions. If any of my English classes were as interesting as this, I would also love teaching. Afterwards we parted company and I managed to discover a little bit more of Montreal, the old part..which is now the more "bohemian" sector with plenty of rainbow's floating around...The neighborhood was a bit run down, but with beautiful old buildings, alas I didn't have my camera. Most of the bigger houses were turned into bed and breakfasts. I felt myself quite safe and at home, it was a bit like the backstreets of Taksim. As someone who likes to observe and just soak up the environment it was immensely rewarding. Sitting with my little notebook watching the world go by and the expressions on people's faces. Three old men,one wearing a horrible blonde wig, have trouble comprehending french but assume that it is the girl behind the counters fault for speaking too fast. They are arrogant old men from the south of U.S. She plays well, she slows down her french and lets them suffer, not letting on that she does speak a bit of English. Although the conversation starts to get interesting I decide to leave and keep walking down Berri street towards the bus station. As I get closer to the station it becomes a bit seedier, with more homeless people and young men who seem to be stoned on something. Yet, still I feel safe, why I can't explain. Perhaps because they are so young, perhaps because they seem to eerily belong there. Strangely enough, it's as if some of them choose purposely to be homeless, perhaps like a right of passage, perhaps in protest. I enter into the library which was recently built, a beautiful glass library, it is immense. As I wander inside contemplating whether or not to sit for awhile, a young homeless woman is vocally yelling and being escorted outside by three identical guards. Who are not saying a word but using body language to move her out. She is very vocal and her body language is "in their face". I cannot understand what she says, but I sympathize with her, when I ask someone what happened, they just say she was crazy, perhaps, but I think perhaps she made the other "normal" customers uncomfortable somehow. Yet this is my imagination, perhaps it is my mood I'm feeling sympathetic. I enter the bus station across the street, to ask a question, and there is an old woman at the counter, her back is turned to us. We started as two. She is asking questions (in french) which the attendant patiently answers, yet some of these questions are irrelevant ones, why there aren't more stops on the bus etc. This goes on for about ten minutes, the line behind me gets longer, and still no one makes a fuss, fidgets or bothers to say anything. This courtesy would not be possible in New York!! I understand waiting and being polite, yet if IF it was getting anywhere! Finally I ask if there is another information desk, the man looks at me funny! The old woman turns around and acts hugely surprised that there are people behind her! My french becomes very fluent when I get fed up..Sometimes it pays to be pushy! The weather is too beautiful, warm and sunny to be underground, so I continue my march up Berri till I tire and go into the metro. I pass high rise buildings,small town houses, neighborhoods which are better kept some which are less so. I come across a primary school which is named after Lafontaine. I wonder what the writer would think of his newest proteges. It is interesting watching children at play. Aged around 9-10 some are playing basketball, one little girl is sitting on what is left of the snow, dirtied, fishing inside a little puddle, my curiosity gets the better of me and as I watch, she is pulling out pieces of asphalt and piling them on top of her little mound of snow. A group of girls is punching a punching bag (first time I've seen that) and very well at that, and lastly two boys are just watching the groups with that empty look that can be associated with young kids. I pass a huge church, surprisingly St.Vincent de Paul, brings back memories of Switzerland, it has been turned into a refuge for young people, hopefully it works.
I come upon a quaint corner, on a small street Duluth. It has, for lack of a better term, a hippy atmosphere, it is a small street with a pub, a few quaint restaurants and a store which sells birkenstocks. I have no idea why but I liked it. Asking directions from a young man with a goatee sweeping the front of the store, I find I am near Mont Royal, and decide that this would be a good place to stop and take a metro. I've walked for around 2 hours and as distances are deceiving here, I still have around five more metro stops..having done about three, I reluctantly end my walk having enjoyed it immensely.

Alleged! The article states!

And here I was about to write something nice and light, when I came across this article. It also happens to be a day when I discussed my views of Turkey's future with a class of Tefl adults, so I was already primed to the pump so to speak. It's true that even in the U.S. the theory of evolution is being restricted in certain more religious states, but unfortunately this newest tragedy added to all the other little restrictions happening in Turkey, is becoming too much to bear. I would hope that the newspaper uses irony when it states "alleged" creeping of Islam. When we finally become an Islamic state wearing burka's with no freedom of speech or thought, then will they finally admit that perhaps we had a point to be worried! That we are not just making a mountain out of a molehill. We are being infiltrated and turned into sheep with restrictions on education and freedom of speech. If these basic rights are taken away, then how does a nation discuss, argue new points of view and learn to grow! Damn we are going to hell in a hand basket. Yes, I will try to write something light as soon as I've calmed down-sorry friends. P.S. Just in case it passes through anyone's head that I should say all this to Speigel I just did..feel a lot better even if it doesn't get published!

And people think I am pessimistic!

DARWIN IN TURKEY

'Most Express Sympathy for the Censorship'

The firing of a magazine editor in Turkey over her intention to put a story about Darwin's evolution theory on the cover has generated a flood of criticism. SPIEGEL ONLINE spoke with the editor about just how conservative Turkish society has become.

No issue divides Turks more than the country's alleged creeping Islamization. Early last week, the Scientific and Technological Research Council of Turkey (Tubitak) sparked an international controversy after it prevented the publication of a cover story about Charles Darwin's evolution theory in Bilim ve Teknik (Science and Technology), one of the country's leading science journals. The publication's editor-in-chief, 41-year-old Cigdem Atakuman, claims she was fired as a result of the incident.

Secular Turks are outraged and the world is watching. Did Tubitak, which publishes Bilim ve Teknik, censor a feature about the theory of evolution under pressure from the conservative Islamic-oriented AKP-led government because it couldn't be reconciled with Muslim religious beliefs? A senior Tubitak official has blamed the editor for removing the story, according to Turkish daily Hürriyet, saying changes were made at the last minute and rushed. But Atakuman has denied the allegation, saying the deputy head of the council, Ömer Cebeci, told her the cover story was too controversial and that he no longer trusted her to responsibly perform her duties. The paper claims the incident has been reduced to a case of "one person's word against the other's."

In an interview with SPIEGEL ONLINE, Atakuman defends her position and says she is worried about the future of bias-free science in her country.

---

SPIEGEL ONLINE: Ms. Atakuman, is it true that you were fired?

Cigdem Atakuman: Yes, it's true. Up until now, there has been no official statement. But I was made to understand, verbally, that I have no future as the editor-in-chief of Bilim ve Teknik.

SPIEGEL ONLINE: Who told you that?

Atakuman: Ömer Cebeci, the vice chairman of the council.

SPIEGEL ONLINE: What reasoning did he provide?

Atakuman: The cover story about Darwin was a big mistake, an unforgivable error. In the current political climate in Turkey, something like that could be perceived as a provocation.

SPIEGEL ONLINE: In what political climate?

Atakuman: I believe Professor Cebeci was referring to the upcoming municipal elections in our country. He may also have meant other political developments that block prejudice-free science. But I think it was about the elections.

SPIEGEL ONLINE: And why? Is it because the governing party's rank and file doesn't like the idea of a major cover story about evolution?

Atakuman: I assume so. But I find it extremely difficult to comprehend. I've been working together with Professor Cebeci since December 2008. Before that I didn't know him -- I was neither familiar with his scientific background nor his views. I don't know what his understanding of science is.

SPIEGEL ONLINE: Could it actually be the case that he is correct? Is the theory of evolution, in fact, a provocation in Turkey?

Atakuman: Take a look at the Web site of Nature, the world's most renowned science magazine. They are also reporting about censorship of the Darwin story and there are many reader commentaries from Turks. Most of them express their sympathies for the censorship of the Darwin story and for creationism.

SPIEGEL ONLINE: Darwin isn't especially popular in Turkey. Only one in four believes in the theory of evolution. How do you explain that?

Atakuman: I see the causes in our system of education. Evolution isn't the only thing taught badly, if it is taught at all -- most things are badly taught.

SPIEGEL ONLINE: Do you think that scientific neutrality is in danger as a result of this incident?

Atakuman: That's not really what I want to believe, but in recent days, I have had concerns about whether we will still be able to work free of ideology in the future. Since Professor Cebeci took office, we have experienced several problems -- the naming of members of the editorial board, for example.

SPIEGEL ONLINE: Is the issue of Darwin now being hushed up?

Atakuman: No, I believe there will be other publications. This whole affair has created awareness of Darwin. Many people now want to get informed. There will also be many events in Turkey commemorating Darwin's 200th birthday.

SPIEGEL ONLINE: Do you know Harun Yahya, the famous Turkish creationist?

Atakuman: Not personally, but I know from my European colleagues that they have all received a big, heavy book from him entitled "The Atlas of Creation." I also have a copy.

SPIEGEL ONLINE: It must be frustrating that Harun Yahya has distributed millions of copies of his book, whereas your cover story will not be appearing in Turkey's most famous science magazine.

Atakuman: This creation atlas is an impressive work -- very colourful, full of pictures. But intellectually, it impresses me less -- as little as creationism does.

Interview conducted by Daniel Steinvorth.

Just some moments of joy...

Gives new meaning to "patience"...
Val David a small village two hours from Montreal in the Laurentide, joy to be back in the snow and cold, -12c ..although, it was raining a bit and grey, still I wouldn't trade the peace of the forest for anything..








just a side note, they may look beautiful, but I've been told they are hard as wood!

My japanese phase, based on princess shikishi- early 12th C.

Winter
The moonlight bares trees,
as snow silently creeps into my bones.
The sky alive with nature's fireworks.

Stunned..

http://www.iht.com/articles/2009/03/02/europe/chechen.php

Although I meant to write about other issues, browsing through IHT I came across this article, which takes place in Grozny, Russia. The president or dictator, (not a slander he really is), is instigating Islamic law, forcing all the women to cover themselves with headscarves, albeit silk. Seven women were shot to death in honor killings. This was brought to media attention with the president/dictator's approval. What is going on in the world?Why is it always the women who are subjugated?? Although this might seem like a problem for Russia to deal with it, Chechen's are long and tenacious fighters. If in the end they can instigate something like this, with a dictator backed by the old Russian president, what's to say that slowly Turkey doesn't turn into something similiar...