So this is what it means..

I'm learning patience...I'm learning what it means to be an adult..I'm learning to do a job that bores me to death (but I'm capable of doing it with little thought), for little pay because I have no choice. I'm learning to stick with it, even though the creative side of me rebels, because I have no choice. I need to work and survive on my own two feet..so this is what it means to grow up. I thought that long ago when I left the bank, idealistic and free, that my life would change around..but fate or destiny has a way of shaking her finger, and getting back at you. The most interesting side of it is, this is Istanbul..will I even be able to GET my pay..now that is quite normal here presumably, but then I 'd have my excuse...grinning ruefully..