Night

 Nighttime fills me with wandering thoughts all so strange and never sure,

Where will it end, 

I hope for sleep, yet sleep eludes me

Filling me up instead with dread 

Oh the joys of getting older..

 

 

 My husband and I would like to find out more about our DNA so this was written to celebrate his birthday and in hopes of finding out more...

Inside myself I’d like to be

to get to know a better me,

athough the ME I am today,

is enough for me-

I have to say,

I would know more,

of whence I came,

to find out just how far I came,

from far flung continents or nearby

towns, have I moved at all

or just stayed around?

Would knowing change who I am,

of course not, yet it would be grand

to find out just how much I am,

related to my fellow man!

Essential

Time is of the essence

don’t you know-

it flitters and glitters around

making you think

there is plenty abound..

TIME is of the essence

it runs and spills

with no worry no woe,

till one day you know -

TIME is of the ESSENCE..

live for today a cliché you might say,

yet when you live for tomorrow-

time was of the essence, and

it flitters away till tomorrow

is no longer

 a day...

This started out as a class project, write a short poem entitled "things I like".. well I couldn't resist trying it out myself..although it has been edited..

things I like

the smell of the sea

as we

listen to the waves

drinking

hot coffee on a cold winter's day

while 

a baby laughs

eating 

the last piece of chocolate

with the 

wind in the trees

time will tell

when you are young time never moves,
it often d r a g s its feet
you find yourself glancing at the clock...tick.......tock.....t..i..c..k
but as you get older time seems to move
on a pair of wings..flying  faster and higher...
and before you can think or blink...
the years have passed..where did they go..
yet I do not begrudge the fact that time has flown
for with it I know that I have grown,
grown into who I am and all I know,
I have to thank- TIME...for in its wisdom and through it all..
time
will tell me all...

night sky

The night holds no fear,
                                           crisp air,                                                                bristling leaves..
                                                                                  
                                                                                      being held
                                                                                                              by you...

enough for today

In my present state I have to say..

love me, for who I am

remember me for who I was

and never forget to be who you really are..

life is too short for ifs and buts..

live your life today

for soon it may be taken away...

then you will see -

nothing is as bad as it may have seemed...

I love you for what you are and

what we do today-

is more then enough for yesterday...

Five

five years today my love,
five years since we first met.
could we have guessed what was to come..
five years of no regrets..a beautiful girl, a loving man,
oh time did fly...and here we are
five years today my love.
who knows what's to come in the next 5 + 5
but if I'm with you my love..what's 5+5+5.............

the wind blows

blow wind blow

the heavens have opened  their doors

the trees shiver

 yet i hover-

 heedless at the door,

 neither in nor out..

blow wind blow 

 whilst i remain an entity no more...

a little luck

Hello world it's me again..a lot has happened since I last wrote, to summarize I live in the Czech Rep. and am happily married with a 2.5 year old daughter..Edi. thanks in part to her, today I have found for the first time in my life, a four leaf clover. Although to many of you this might not be such a strange phenomenon to me, it signifies a change in fortune..perhaps this is only mental, but at times this is needed as well..I am too settled and happy " to wander" like in my olden days..but I must admit I had been feeling a bit stagnant, being home with Edi is a joy and a luxury-but your brain and your patience are thinly used. So in part to the four leaf clover and in larger part to her having to gone to bed early, here I am again. Unfortunately, all that I had complained about in the past about the growing religious movement in Istanbul has come to pass in full force. I am saddened and in part afraid to see what has happened to a city which is dear to me. We will be visiting this summer for a few days, but with the volatile situation I'm nervous to wander too far..looking forward to some sea and sun..I am lucky enough to have a few students, and always in trying to explain my past life, it sounds slightly bizarre..

My life is not linear,
so do not try to presume a straight path.
it folds and turns upon itself,
at times leading no where, at times afloat.
in search of answers to questions, un asked
yet known..
how did i get here- in the end,
i cannot say,
the path one travels is a journey-
to the end of what,
who knows..
but I am grateful for the journey
for it lets me be...me.

Why I don't know

but the urge to write has returned. I have found the balance between writing and feeling good. For a long time this blog was my outlet, my companion, a way to vent my frustration on the world and its injustices..yet now I have found a real outlet for this, a good friend, who I can talk to and I lost the urge to write, poetical or likewise..yet today, the urge is back..perhaps some balance has been found..we shall see..

inside my mind..

look at me
screams my mind
at peace
the world is clear..
though I know not why
life is good,
we live we laugh we die
life's not complicated
we are complicated..
when we choose
to be-
not who we are
but what we think to be...
in a world unclear
my world is clear..

stopping time

I no longer count the numbers in my head,
i know that time has stopped instead,
it lingers softly in my mind,
a gentle refrain -no longer shouting,
it is time!
the time is now, and I am here.
I AM here...at home, in my heart, at peace with the world..
no longer a nun,
or a soldiers whore,
a woman loved by one also adored.

Kassia's poem

My book on women poets by penguin, still amazes me! Despite the centuries it can still be said of mankind today...what a woman...

Kassia, 9th century, Byzantine Greece.
The only woman poet of distinction in Byzantine History. Tradition says she was to be chosen as a bride by the Emperor, but was rejected when she answered him with the edged wit she is famous. She founded a convent and was the abbess for the remainder of her life.

You meet your friend, your face
Brightens-you have struck gold.

Wealth covers sin-the poor
Are naked as a pin.

Poverty?Wealth? seek neither-
One causes swollen heads,
the other swollen bellies.

A half deaf,bald,one handed,
Stuttering, pint-sized,pimply
Pigeon toed,cross-eyed man,
When mocked by a lying pimp,
A thieving murderous drunk,
of his misfortune said:
I'm not to blame-you think
I asked to be like this?
But you!..the credit's yours.
Your Maker gave you nothing.
behold the self made man.

A learned fool? God save us!
The pigs are wearing pearls.
Better unborn than fool.

If born, spare earth your tread.
Don't wait. Go straight to hell.
No remedy for fools,
No helping them, but death.

In office?puffed and strutting.
Acclaimed?beyond endurance.
Columns of stone will kneel
Before you change a fool.
The artful Armenian.
Emerod.Wooden nickel.Mad
Dog.Weathervane.Back biter.
Bladder.Bog.

A wise man put it well-
"Without a name, he's naught,
less when he gets a name,
least of all when rich,
and richer, holding office,
Honoured-less then least."

Ask for a taste of luck
before you ask for beauty.
A nun's life-free as a bird,
A nun- a door unopened.

trial and error

I left it all behind so many years ago, she whispered softly..
left what...
all my dreams, my hopes, completely scattered to the four winds...
never give up hope, never until its too late, and your soul is cast out, he sighs softly..
yet what if you are simply tired of searching, of hoping till your heart aches and coming up empty..like a shell cast out on the beach..empty of its inner being..what holds you together then??she resists
what is left of you if you cast out hope as well? he whispers..
how can I have found what I had given up as lost...love in its essence, simple and uncomplicated..so natural that it feels unreal....yet it is real.
Dare to love and trust! For what else is life for, slowly he uncovers her heart, beating softly in his hand...trust her soul beckons and she follows...

oblivion

soft hands glide over me-
slipping under my robe,
bare skin.. lingering there,
a gentle caress...
my skin, yet not mine,
falling out of me-i want more,
a single intake of breath...as I continue to shudder lost inside
soft grey eyes..oblivious to the world outside.
my heart beats faster as we continue to stare,
unwilling to break this bond,
oblivious to the world outside..

silent testimony

Between the sheets I leave myself behind
no thoughts
no mind
the sound of your breath leads me
my hand an extension of yours,
As one we twist and turn amongst the sheets,
leaving silent imprints behind..

my favourite time of day..

soft light filters through curtains, as I slowly stretch
still caught up in sleep-
feather light fingers caress my back
easing me out of my slumber
lips follow
and I
fully wake
to you...
as the sun rises light penetrates the room,
bright light-
morning has come.

Captured

Are those truly my eyes
glistening with emotion, opening doors to my soul.
Captured
on film, naked
for all the world to see.
Seeing myself for the first time,
as you see me..
locked in your gaze,
the world around us slips away...

Not sure what to think of my little "experiment"...but I think I will leave it, just for future reference.. it feels like I am slowly coming closer to actually writing something more then just poetry...I am sure there will be further little experiments with characters with no real form, it's intriguing...hmm...comments.