Never say “never” is what a friend of mine told me a while ago..seems he was right! But in a completely different context.
I had my heart set on getting out of Istanbul- or was it that I was trying to get away period..If I’m honest that was more of the issue, however after a short but fruitful trip to Europe, I’ve realized that at the moment I’m better off in Istanbul- running away is always possible, but right now I don’t have the energy to start all over again. I want roots..yes I’ve said it, I dare to want “normality”-picket fence and all..(in Istanbul that will be hard to find!)
Although I’ve been accused of getting to old, that is just a misconception (dare someone tell me otherwise.) It’s a stereotype that needs to be gotten rid of –age is what you feel! So, long story short, I’ve started a new search through some friends of mine for work..I’ve also started to put my photos in some order, and maybe find someplace to display them, a restaurant, gallery etc..why not..These are some of the advantages of living in Istanbul.
I had my heart set on getting out of Istanbul- or was it that I was trying to get away period..If I’m honest that was more of the issue, however after a short but fruitful trip to Europe, I’ve realized that at the moment I’m better off in Istanbul- running away is always possible, but right now I don’t have the energy to start all over again. I want roots..yes I’ve said it, I dare to want “normality”-picket fence and all..(in Istanbul that will be hard to find!)
Although I’ve been accused of getting to old, that is just a misconception (dare someone tell me otherwise.) It’s a stereotype that needs to be gotten rid of –age is what you feel! So, long story short, I’ve started a new search through some friends of mine for work..I’ve also started to put my photos in some order, and maybe find someplace to display them, a restaurant, gallery etc..why not..These are some of the advantages of living in Istanbul.
Sitting by the sea, (finally free internet!)the weather is overcast and windy with waves crashing against the wall-but amazingly beautiful and calming. An old man about 80 walks into the café, wearing his camel coat and beret! We also have two young men sporting “rastas” and beards, an eclectic mix, and the never ending tea!..oops forgot to mention the black Labrador who wanders in and around the chairs…
I’m a bit more relaxed now that I’ve decided to stay in one place, Genvieve if you read this you were right, life pulls you like a leaf in the wind, you never know where you will end up, with whom, or sometimes without whom…
Sometimes giving up and letting go, is the only thing left to do! So my friends I’m trying to close a chapter in my life, but its about the hardest thing I’ve done in a long, long time..and no, you don’t get wiser with age, just cling harder...
So for those of you who are wondering, no I haven’t given up on the phd idea but I did put it on hold for the moment. I need to earn money first (no I haven’t just realized this!) Just thought I could get away with doing both at the same time..sorry to be repeating things I feel like a broken record but hey that's my life at the moment..I've stopped making plans, they never work out for me anyway-as SOME friends can attest to, having had first hand experience..smiling hugely! Like some- I thought I could have my cake and eat it too…guess not. But I’m smiling again, if a bit ruefully! Traveling is good for my morale and I'm grateful to all my friends -new and old -that I have scattered about it making it possible!! Hopefully I will have a place of my own one day, so like my mother keep tabs -smiling! You are all welcome..
I’m a bit more relaxed now that I’ve decided to stay in one place, Genvieve if you read this you were right, life pulls you like a leaf in the wind, you never know where you will end up, with whom, or sometimes without whom…
Sometimes giving up and letting go, is the only thing left to do! So my friends I’m trying to close a chapter in my life, but its about the hardest thing I’ve done in a long, long time..and no, you don’t get wiser with age, just cling harder...
So for those of you who are wondering, no I haven’t given up on the phd idea but I did put it on hold for the moment. I need to earn money first (no I haven’t just realized this!) Just thought I could get away with doing both at the same time..sorry to be repeating things I feel like a broken record but hey that's my life at the moment..I've stopped making plans, they never work out for me anyway-as SOME friends can attest to, having had first hand experience..smiling hugely! Like some- I thought I could have my cake and eat it too…guess not. But I’m smiling again, if a bit ruefully! Traveling is good for my morale and I'm grateful to all my friends -new and old -that I have scattered about it making it possible!! Hopefully I will have a place of my own one day, so like my mother keep tabs -smiling! You are all welcome..
P.s. If you hadn't noticed I made a radical change to hair and color, and you all know how much I hate photos but no other way..comments welcome- smiling!
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